In Which I Talk about Romance. Again.

(I would have posted earlier, but, you know. Life. My grandfather died, colleges began accepting me, and I've gotten really snarled up inside, emotionally speaking. It happens, time to time.)

This is not the first time I've talked about romance. Or should I capitalize Romance? Everyone else seems to capitalize on it.

I'm one of those people who sets their book off to the side, on their bed, after they've finished reading. I have a dozen books sitting, scattered, across the side of my bed. 5 are romance. 3 are nonfiction. The rest are MG.

Now, what do I mean by romance? There are different types. There are romance novels and romantic subplots and there are those (horrible) books where romance plays a pretty central role, but for some reason isn't even mentioned in the back-cover summary. This post, I'm talking about all of them.

And, of course, if you visit this blog, I'm sure you read, write, or at least have heard of YA. My favorite age group of books. And more than likely, you have heard how swamped with romance it is. Maybe you've debated about the role of sex in YA Lit. Maybe you've even written a few romantic scenes yourself, if you're a writer.

Don't get me wrong. I am happy that people like writing romance, that women can find even a minimally decent pay writing romance, and that people will read it. But when I say "people" want to read it, I have never been included in it.

Because, of course, I am asexual. And romance is not really my strong suit.

Let me define that term for you (in my own words):

asexual (adj.): to not be interested in sex; to be sexually attracted to neither sex.

That does not mean I am "anti-love" or "innocent-minded;" it does not mean you can tell me that this is just "a phase everyone goes through" and that "I'll find someone someday." And it does not mean that I will be happy reading sex scenes in books, or even mildly romantic scenes.

Unfortunately, I come across it too often. The first kiss. The first relationship. The first sex. They are common themes, in YA Lit. And they are probably common firsts for many teenagers. But I never feel more alone than when I think the phrase, "normal teenagers," because I have never considered myself as part of that category, and for good reason.

To me, YA is not just first love. YA is the exploration of possibilities and the world for the first time. It is first adventures, first griefs, first chance to change the world and not merely observe it. There are many firsts in the world, and I love those much more, connect more with those ideas, than I do with "the feel of his lips on my skin" or "his kiss" or whatever else it is. You don't even have to include an asexual character in your book. I'm just begging you, to just not put romance in it, or put it far to the side in favor of other things.

There is only one book series I've read that features an asexual character: the Emily the Strange series, by Rob Reger. Emily Strange is a role model for me; not only is she asexual, but a genius, a prankster, a skateboarder, and a cat person. Members of her family are "Dark Girls," also called the "Dark Aunts," because they have magical ability and never marry or have children. I have all four books on my greater-favorites bookshelf. You can probably find them in the YA section at your local B&N. It's written in diary form, and can at times look more MG than YA, but still. An asexual character! A main character who actually sticks by her statement that she will never have children!*

As much as I hate to add the disclaimer: yes, I know there are books out there that are not romance, and YA is not "swamped" with romance, there are others out there about family and friendships. But in my local B&N, in my local library, there sure are many books with romance in them. There are those books, like I mentioned above, who do not bother to tell me of the romance that is a central part of the book in the summary.

Haughty Owl wants you to think of ALL sexualities.

The truth is, I walk into my local B&N, and I want to cry. My eyes desperately search the shelves -- those crisp, clean shelves with new, pristine books -- and my heart sinks when I pull down a book. Just wondering whether or not there will be romance in it; picking over the summary, and making assumptions based on that, assuming there will be romance if I don't know.


Perhaps normal people, I think, just pick a book off the shelves, like the summary, the premise, and just purchase it and go. It is entirely lonely, to realize that other people aren't bothered by the romance, because they're normal people who don't mind -- even love -- the heterosexual love in all of these books. And that because I'm just a freak, I have trouble doing the one thing I've done my entire life -- reading.

But luckily, I have a blog. And hopefully, I have a talent for writing, and I will use both of them to ask that more books with more asexual characters are put into my hands. That while you advocate for LGBT romance, remember that little unknown "A" for Asexual, and advocate for some no-romance books, as well.

Because there are other readers out there, like me, who are asexual and feeling just a little lonely not for being underrepresented -- but for not being represented at all. So, if you think yourself an ally to gays and bisexuals, then remember to educate on asexuals, too, because while most everyone has an opinion on LGBTQ, almost no one has heard of asexuality. In fact, when I tell someone I am asexual, I have to explain to the person what it means, and then they just shrug and say, "well, I don't know where that leaves you, then. I'm sure you'll grow into it. Everybody else does."

I know I will be a writer, and most of my main characters will be asexual. I know the themes I'd like to expound on in my works. I know, if I become famous, what it will be for -- a look into diversity, for that little asexual, bookish teenager who bites her lip in the library as her hands hover the shelves and shelves of first kisses and first crushes.

Have a blessed day.

Scabby Zazu says to watch what you read -- there's plenty of romance, when you look!

*Yes, I was ticked off by that in The Hunger Games. And in several other works I've read. Why is it somewhat common to have your narrator say she will never have children/fall in love/fall in love with that man, and then have her turn around and do exactly that?! Is this just a trend in the books I pick up?

Letters to Life: On Female Characters

Dear SFF readers, writers, publishing peoples, and all-around decent folk --

I've recently been reading internet articles, as is my wont, on the representation of females in fiction.

Now, I'm a teenager who reads mostly YA. Don't kid yourselves, if you think this is an expert opinion. In fact, I hope you point out any flaws in my arguments in the comments section, or tell me what you think are the strong points. That is how people learn and grow.

But there is lots of talk about "strong female characters." (From my vantage point, which isn't exactly temporal. Namely, these articles could've been written anytime from last week to years ago.)

Now, why would I take part in such a discussion? Why should I? I am no expert, not even in logic or argument-making. In fact, I am the sort of person who doesn't even think logic rules the world -- I tend to think logic and argument are only one aspect of life, just as music and emotion and image and language are all just another part. And it's your choice to think which is more important. But I need to say something, and have a conversation about it, instead of letting it fester in my soul.

That being said, logic and argument do amount to something. It has weight behind it, like every other human force. And there is a certain logic that defines literature, just as there is emotion in music and structure in art and language in argument. Do you know what that logic is?

That there is no one personality type; there are as many types of people in fiction (and nonfiction) as there is in real life. And that means that yes, there are your typical Strong Female Characters in real life, and yes, there are some in literature. But that doesn't mean your definition should make up the majority.

It's the age-old trope that makes these female characters just that - a trope. You can bring them to life all you want, and people will complain that you're just submitting to a trope. That they are nothing but a stock character. (Remember that term from English class?) And I'm sick of seeing and reading it. But I want them in here, just the same.

Let's examine the typical traits of a Strong Female Character, shall we? Silent, strong, usually career-oriented and usually one of the few women in their field (and, of course, usually a military, scientific, or otherwise male-dominated field). Not weepy, or emotional, or terribly simple-minded. And of course, complex, internally-struggling, angry and happy and world-weary at the same time...

What was that? That last sentence doesn't ring true? Well, it should. Because that's my main point here: the "Strong Female Character" should be more than her typical definition. She should be as real-life as, well, real life.

I mean, what other type of female is there? Everyone is strong in their own way, pardoning my abrupt train of thought. (And jump in argument; bear with me, please.) What I mean is, what is the definition of weakness, when you think of a Strong Female Character? Emotional? Because everyone has emotion. Guys, especially, are prone to anger in fiction. That's an emotion, right? Anger? That hasn't suddenly morphed into a separate category, some extension of thought? Guys can be prone to theatrical heroism. Being melodramatic is a mix of thought and emotion, true, but it's how we exaggerate and how we show emotion. I mean, the typical guy trope -- the hero who has to save the world, and he does it his own way.

Emotion isn't a weakness. Guys, real life and in fiction, can have it. It's not a weakness, for them; in fact, it's usually portrayed in media as an abusive man controlling his wife or family; it's portrayed as the lust and "love" for the forces of good and for, again, their family. Batman is allowed to become a hero after his parents die, out of grief and a want for revenge. All of those crime shows, following childhood trauma to abusive present. (Or to a present of seeking out such dangerous relationships, but that's usually portrayed a "woman" thing.)

So why can't Strong Females have it? Emotions are not exclusively female or "weak." So... what else? Do you mean physical weakness? That's a characteristic of Strong Females and males alike. The whole "Look at me, I can shoot a gun, I can kick your sorry butt to kingdom come, I catch you doing something misogynistic and I will show you how manlike my reflexes are?" No one I know of can manage it, but in Sci-fi/fantasy, go ahead! (Really. No sarcasm. I come from a place where people have inane conversations and do chores, not kick butt.)

Um... do you mean the whole being-the-only-one-of-my-gender-in-this-field? Because... well, that doesn't look strong. Actually, that doesn't even reflect on the character in my opinion -- it just makes a whole system look weak. I mean, no one wants a field where both genders aren't at play. It takes two to make a family, and it takes two to make bombs. Ingenuity comes to both genders, and it's stupid to refuse an entire gender's ingenuity based solely on their gender. I'm all for subjectivity, but that's not a good subjectivity to go by. Go by something like, "They don't like biology, so they can't work in our medical facilities." That's a much more decent subjective measure than "Oh, she's a girl."

So... what is weak? What is the opposite, or indeed anything other than, this Strong Female Character? Which brings me back to my first point -- why are you making this a stock character/trope?

I would guess you mean "as opposed to the lack of other female characters in the novel, this one token girl is a Strong Person, because we don't have any others but vague mentions." I've heard of a few novels like that. I don't read many, thankfully. It's not really a good thing, this trope. There are plenty of strong characters who are not this mental image of military-and-rebellious.

Now, did I write this just to be whiny? No, I have an Easy Positive Solution.    

Perhaps we should take a leaf from my favorite age group's notebook: write many, many books from the POV of girls/women. Adult fiction, you heard me. And I don't mean, simple, flat characters written for the Sake of Diversity. (More on that particular rant some other day.) I mean, real-life characters. The sort of characters we always strive to write about, because no one likes flat, simple-minded "weak" characters. The same ones you seem intent to avoid with the trope in the first place.

In fact, here's an Easy Test to administer and pass -- the Bechdel Test. The questions are simple.
1. Are there at least two women in it?
2. Do they talk to each other?
3. Do they talk about something other than men?
Guys, this isn't a hard test to pass. It's not even asking to make them major or main characters, just that you include them. It does wonders for that audience you're actively pushing away. (Namely, me. Though people like me are included, as well.)

In YA, a lot of novels are published by women, for girls. Predominantly. And there's a reason I prefer that age group -- because, while I hate the romance, I can identify with strong characters who happen to be female. Because, they can't be anything but strong.

Sincerely,
JDM -- a dreamer of impossibly diverse dreams, a thinker of more than logic, and a Girl Who Loves Strength (But Knows There's More than One Type)

P.S. This Lorde quote was originally intended for real-life racism. I kind of consider fictional people to be their own human race, only they inhabit a different world. But all the same, I don't mean this quote to look out-of-context and mean. Diversity, as I said, is a whole 'nother blog post, as is For the Sake of Diversity.

Follow Friday #50

[This is going to be my last FF post. *sniff*sniff* I've thought about it for several weeks now, and decided that since fifty is such a nice round number, I'll stop here. I want to focus less of finding new readers and more on entertaining the ones I have.]

Follow Friday is a weekly meme hosted by Alison Can Read and Parajunkee.

Q: Activity! Share your favorite literary quote.

Meep! I have so many. Like seriously... SO MANY.

Here are some of my favorites:

"You are dust, her eyes said. You are dirt. You are nothing. Why do you bother surviving? Why are you still alive?
I am the dust in your eyes was the answer in Hathin's look. I am the dirt that will bury you. I am the nothingness waiting to open up under your feet. And I can hold on longer than you can."
~Frances Hardinge, The Lost Conspiracy

"There are places that are truly dark in the world, Ven, but this place here is not one of them. It's not really dark here -- it's just night."
~Elizabeth haydon, the Lost Journals of Ven Polypheme: The Floating Island

"You can burn the paper,
but you cannot burn what it contains;
I carry it within my heart."
~Ibn Hazm (Spain; 994-1064 AD)

"When she came to write her story, she would wonder exactly when the books and the words started to mean not just something, but everything."
~Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

How about you? What are your favorite quotes? Have a blessed Friday and weekend!

It's Monday! Ugh.

So, I've been reading a series, and I don't really have a book review ready for you. :(

It's the 39 Clues, in case you were wondering. I read the first four a long time ago and now I'm picking it back up again, because putting down a series that I actually like is so frustrating. I couldn't find the fifth and sixth several years ago -- or maybe a couple years ago -- and had to put the books down. But now I found 11 of them at the library! Meep!

But the point is, I don't have a book review. Because Mondays are difficult like that. Well, actually the only thing I've done today is go to school for two hours to take an exam in Hon. Spanish 3, and then I came home and took a nap on my couch. But taking naps are hard work! Especially getting up again, and your head gets all woozy because you just took an hour's nap when really, you only meant to rest your eyes for a minute...

I'm not on track right now. I decided that instead, I'll give you a couple songs I've listened to this week:

Teir Abhaile Riu (Celtic Woman)
This, right here, is an epic song. Some of it's in Irish Gaelic, but it's really pretty and kind fast paced. It's about going to Galway (a city in Ireland) and dancing with sailors.
[Note: Irish sounds really cool even when you don't know what they're saying. Or maybe especially; depending on the setting and context.]

Mama's Broken Heart (Miranda Lambert)
This is a tough-girl song, a country song. It's defiant and snarky. It's about going through a break-up and when your Mama tells you to pull yourself together, even while you're falling apart. (Not that I would know anything about break-ups. But songs like these are good substitutes for missing experience.)

How about you? Got any music you listen to? I'd love to hear it! Have a blessed Monday (if there is any such thing!)

Hi, Sorry.

I meant to do a book review today. It was going to be a good one, too -- The Scorpio Races by Maggie  Stiefvater. But I haven't gotten around to finishing it. Because I haven't done enough reading and writing and I've done too much staring at my ceiling.

Right now, it's like, 9:30 at night and I still haven't done my homework. I'm shorted out on sleep. There's barely enough sweet tea in the fridge for waking me up tomorrow morning. I didn't finish my book. I'm not having too good a Monday.

But, let's look on the bright side... uhmmm... The world hasn't run out of books! And tomorrow I can watch TV all day if I want to. And... my handwriting is really pretty. (Not my blog post handwriting, or computer writing, obviously -- they're digital fluff. There's pretty much the one font for the internet.)

Anyways, this is a post to tell you that I apologize for not doing what I'm supposed to. Even now, I'm considering just taking a C on my homework. Just telling you.

Have a blessed day today/tomorrow! Here's a picture quote, because I feel this post is too short.

On a Quick Update

Hi! I'm at the beach, on vacation. Yes, it's the middle of the winter, but who cares?

Hope y'all had a merry Christmas! This is one of the spaciest times of year for me -- no thoughts, no ideas, just random fluff in my brain. So, no proper post today.

I'll try to be back on Friday. I'm currently part of the way through Brisingr, which is the third book of the Inheritance series by Christopher Paolini (you know, remember my post on Eragon, over there in the archives?). I've been listening Owl City instead of revising my novel. You know, the usual.

I'll continue my history Wednesdays next week. This week, as I said, my brain is kinda mush and fluff. Sorry.

If I get a chance, I might take a couple pics of the beach and post them on Friday. Have a happy vacation week, y'all! (Or a blessed day if you're not on vacation!) Here are some friendly quotes for your inspiration.

Updates

Good Sunday and last day of September, followers. (And I've made it past 111 followers! I feel like I've bested Bilbo Baggins, when really I haven't done any such thing. Thank you for allowing me to feel satisfaction at having read the LoTR trilogy.)

I'll give you a basic rundown of the next week - Monday I have a book review waiting, Wednesday I might post a short spiff (yay for you - admire my jumpy writing skills!) and Follow Friday on Friday. I find this little list sad, for some reason.

I might change a few things around on the blog, about the sidebar and on the pages. Probably not the background - I like the black + white + blue theme I've got now.

Anyways, I wanted to let you know that between school and the beginnings of research on my novel (Yes, I've waited until I started my first draft, but it's a sloppy copy - I can go back and change the minor details I need to research) I might be awhile in posting another book review.

Tomorrow and perhaps next Monday I'll have a review up, but it might start slacking off after that. I joined an after-school choir at my school every Thursday and I'm going to Sunday School more often, as well as the homework I have steadily piling up. This leads to less reading time. I might start picking up again about November, or earlier.

Anyways, that's all I need to remind you of. Here's a pretty quote. Have a blessed Sunday!

Wednesday Musings

So, today was my second day of school. I'm officially a junior.

I am taking three AP classes (all on the same day, if you can believe it). I have a ton of homework. So, what do I do? I go look through my little blogger inbox and read blog posts, and I post something myself... you know.

So this is going to be a short, update post, until Friday when I can breathe.

First of all, my novel is coming along poorly. I've written maybe the first sentence. I need encouragement; I feel like I've talked about this before, but I may have read someone else's post on motivation. My mind is fuzzy. I really need a way to stick to my writing, and I hope that by filling that creative well in my mind I'll either be driven crazy or to writing. Anyone have any ideas for a girl with minimal supplies, no money, and no driver's license?

(By minimal, I mean my mom's craft supplies: popsicle sticks, maybe pipe cleaners, foam stickers, those little pom-pom balls. Stuff you find in a little kid's artroom, except way less of it.)

(I also don't mean do my homework. It's the first week of school, for goodness sake.)

It's been hectic, but I might post a short spiff next Wednesday. A sample of my writing, if you wish to call it that. Beyond that, I don't know.

I have a picture quote with some penguins on it. Yay. :)

 I used a sample picture from my computer and added a quote to it.

I have... really nothing else to say. How do you stay motivated when writing? Do you have any ideas to get my creative well... welling up again? (What a pitiful metaphor. Oh goodness.) Comment or link to a post with a good answer, please.

Have a blessed Wednesday, and I hope you don't get eaten by tigers!

Follow Friday #8

Yay! Did you know that the number 8 is my favorite number? :) It's so... even. You divide it in half, you get four, which is an even number, and you can divide four in half to get two, another even number. That's a lot of even numbers!

Sorry, I love even numbers. A lot. So, Follow Friday is a weekly meme hosted by Alison Can Read and Parajunkee. This week's question is...

Q: Summer Reading. What was your favorite book that you were REQUIRED to read when you were in school?

Ohmygoodness. Uh... I liked the Crucible by Arthur Miller from this past year (my 10th grade year). I thought it was hilarious how they were all running around and pointing at random people, screaming, "WITCH!!" :O That's a play, but it still counts, right?

I loved The Odyssey (by Homer, of course) during my ninth grade year, as well as the Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. Those two were kind of weird, and we didn't read the entire Odyssey (just quite a few passages of it, and then my teacher summarized the chapters we skipped). But they were still really fun to read.

I can't tell you my middle school favorites, because middle school is a blur in my mind, to be honest. I remember disliking, like two books from 6th grade and then the rest of middle school reading is hazy. So, my three answers are up there, and they'll suffice. I couldn't pick a favorite from them - I only somewhat liked them - so you get three answers.

And BTW - I was watching Doctor Who just earlier. It was the one where the Doctor (David Tennant, not Matt Smith) was with Donna in the biggest library in the universe. It was as big as the planet! Nobody was in there because the alien shadows were killing them. Don't you just love Doctor Who? The world's biggest and most dangerous library... my happy place (without the shadows, of course). ^.^

Have a blessed day and keep writing. :)

This is a picture quote I made myself, using Paint and fotoflexer. I also posted it on my Tumblr, though I've never gotten around to posting the link to my Tumblr on my blog. 

Monday Musings: Soundtracks

 

I know I'm not the only one who sang this song in their head. ^.^

I missed the 100th FF meme... :'( It's been a hectic weekend, and I just plain forgot. But now, it's the last week of school (I only have to go one more day, on Wednesday, for two exams). I can relax a little. (By the way, the two pictures - well, picture and gif - come from tumblr. Just to let you know.)

Today is a short post. It's about soundtracks, if you couldn't tell.

Some people listen to music while they write. Or they're inspired by a song, and madly scrawl the idea down before tackling the first draft. Some pick songs as that whole "THAT-FITS-PERFECTLY-WITH-THE-STORY-I'M-WRITING". My brain's a little scattered right now, so my wording needs refinement, but you get the basic drift.

As for me, I don't always listen to music while I write. I find it distracting, especially when my favorite song is on and I'm listening to pandora. Pandora also raises the problem of flipping through your stations to try and find a distracting good song. So instead, I settle listening and writing seperately. But I find a lot of inspiration through the songs when I do listen. The emotion and the sound in the songs, and the lyrical poetry... sometimes, it helps me find motivation to write. When I want to tear the proverbial paper to shreds (as my work is on my computer), then I listen to music, and I can feel the words in my heart again.

As for a song that fits my novel, I don't know. It's more of a segment of this song, some lyrics from that song... it's a crazy patchwork quilt, except my quilt is covered in patches that are so different in size, shape, and color that I don't know how I keep it all together. That's the bare truth.

What about you? Do you listen while you write? Have you a perfect song that fits your novel?

 

I think that was "Fifteen" but I can't remember...

Friday Favorites

It's Friday! I am so glad the week (and all the testing) is done. A good thing about the week is that I've been hit with that proverbial lightning strike, Inspiration. I feel like my book might actually get past point A now.

Music:

I've been listening to several different artists. I hate that I only know one or two of their songs, but they've been stuck in my head all week: Death Cab for Cutie, Krystal Meyers, Barlow Girls, and Tim Mcgraw.

Tim Mcgraw - Let It Go

Barlow Girls - Mirror

Quotes:

"I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within." -Gustave Flaubert

"I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain." -Jane Wagner

"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." -Gloria Steinem

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." -Joseph Chilton Pearce

"If you expect nothing from anybody, you'll never be disappointed." -Sylvia Path

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." -Mark Twain

"When you consider things like the stars, our affairs don't seem to matter much, do they?" -Virginia Woolf


Books:

I read surprisingly little this week. I've been so busy with tests, I didn't notice. Also, I had to drag out reading this one book because my mom promised to buy me the sequel today (which she did - yay!). That book is The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan. He writes such awesome books that are both filled with ancient myths and magic and written like a modern teenager's thoughts. You know what I mean? (Which you should if you've ever read The Percy Jackson series. That's quite popular; have y'all read it?)


Overall, it's been an exhausting week. My AP World History exam, the state-approved tests that happen in May (they're called SOLs here, but I think that changes from state to state, right?) as well as some personal problems (I mean, my cat's problems technically, but I loved her newborn kittens; I was so devastated when they died).

Anyways, here is a quote in picture form, from Tumblr: